How To Fix a Struggling Relationship With Your Spouse

If you have found that the recent quarantine period has affected your relationship with your spouse – you are not alone. The coronavirus pandemic has forced us to spend the vast majority of our day in the same surroundings with the same person, meaning that our relationships are well and truly being put to the test.

Although some couples have used this time together to resolve any issues they may have had before the pandemic, many are finding it hard to work on their marriage in such a high-pressured environment. However, you can fix a struggling relationship if you are both committed to working on it.

Here are some useful tips to take on board if you want to work on your relationship with your partner:

  1. Re-evaluate your relationship

After being together for many years, it can be easy to forget just why you got together in the first place. Go back to the start of the relationship and ask yourself what drew you to your spouse to begin with? By re-evaluating the reasons why you got together, the pre-existing foundations of your relationship will be strengthened.

However, it’s also important to ask your partner what they do and don’t love about you. This will not only bring up any issues in your behavior that you weren’t aware of, it will also show your partner that you are open to constructive criticism and self-improvement. This way, you and your spouse can work towards having a more honest relationship.

  1. Better communication

Communication is the most important part of your relationship since it allows you to share the emotional, mental, physical, and even spiritual, aspects of your life with your significant other, without feeling judged or devalued.

However, neither you nor your partner is a mind reader. Work on ways to encourage better communication within your relationship, so you never feel afraid to share exactly what you’re thinking or feeling.

There is a right way and a wrong way to communicate. Asking your loved one questions that matter to them is a good start to more effective communication.

  1. Do something special as a couple

Revisiting a place that is meaningful to your relationship as a couple can reignite passion. If you have a favorite restaurant together, or if there is a certain physical space that reminds you of how you first met, the powerful memories attached to these places will take you back to happier times and encourage you to work on your future together. Set up a designated date night at least once a month to spend time away from the day to day responsibilities of ordinary life.

  1. Give each other space

Sometimes the best way to fix a struggling relationship is by giving your partner space. Even couples in happy relationships need alone time, in fact, the healthiest couples are able to spend time away from each other to work on their own goals and hobbies.

Reconnect with your family and friends outside of your relationship with your spouse, and dedicate enough time to focus on yourself. This way, you can be two whole people with your own exciting lives, rather than two halves of a whole that rely on each other for happiness. When you are happy by yourself, it is easier to be happy in a couple.

  1. Forgive each other

Not forgiving your partner and holding on to any bitterness, animosity, or anger, can prevent you from making progress in your relationship.

Accept that whatever happened, happened, and try not to let the past negatively affect the future. Although it may be hard to forgive your spouse, lingering on hurtful memories only makes things worse.

  1. Consider a divorce

While some relationships can be fixed, sometimes it isn’t always possible to make a marriage work. If you truly can’t see a way out of the relationship, then consider starting divorce proceedings. Many worry that divorce will cause more hostility between them and their partner, but seeking out a third party to help you through this difficult process will help you find a satisfactory resolution without any additional resentment.

Leon F. Bennett is a family law lawyer in Woodland Hills that specializes in divorce litigation with over 35 years of successful practice. Their legal team works with highly skilled professionals like therapists, investigators, forensic accountants, and videographers, to provide thorough, comprehensive and, when needed, aggressive representation.

Although you should try other ways to fix your struggling relationship, like marriage counselling and working on more effective communication, sometimes a divorce can be the healthiest of solutions to fix a broken marriage.